“Double standards are no standards at all. Choose your path and go the whole journey”
Showing remorse is one of the most profound ways to take responsibility for our shortcomings in life. These may be intentional or unintentional but apologizing for them sets ground for us to make up for them. It’s one thing I believe we all need to learn to do better than we have ever done and to keep improving on it because as social beings we thrive when in good terms with others.
On the other side of things, I dislike “buts”. A ‘but’ never has a good connotation and when used we err towards the negatives unless talking about a game of cricket. For smokers you’d disagree but it’s your filter to death as you char your lungs one smoke at a time (just an extra “t” in this case though it still has a shady component to it).
An apology should be just that with no qualifiers. If you ever have to add a qualifier, you better put in the empathetic component to it factoring how the person you offended might have felt which accurately you also can’t fully comprehend. I’m writing this from a point of concern and a point of love. Concern because I don’t understand why one would want to make themselves feel better after making another feel aweful. Love because I think the genesis of apologizing is acknowledging hurting another and wanting to make amends for the the care we have for the offended.
I am a critical person naturally and I tend to pick the small things out of situations. Last weekend I was out with my niece for her birthday which was fun in every bit. She had been breathing on my neck reminding me about a treat I had promised and well for kids you know you always have to keep your promise (not that I go back on my promises). During the date, she was overjoyed and excited that we made her special day happen as she had wished for. Then to counsel her, I mentioned to her that at times once you’ve said something to someone and they’ve committed to it, you shouldn’t make it the main part of your conversation with them. As a child and a good one for that matter the way she took it up made me love her more.
“I am sorry uncle. I didn’t want you to miss my birthday. That’s why I kept calling to confirm and check with you.”
The genuineness from her face and the remorse for having been on my case the whole time every moment she thought about it made my heart melt. I later reflected on the whole situation and how it turned out in comparison to some halfhearted grown-up kind of apologies I have either received or gave out for being out of line and I couldn’t stop but feel guilty. That’s why I decided to write this and share a piece of me.
“An apology is the super glue of life. It can repair just about anything.” – Lynn Johnston