Be a Man; The Making of a Man

“Be a Man. A statement that have driven some men to depression while at the same time got others woke.”


Humanity is diverse and with this diversity comes our response to experiences and encounters that life has to offer. It’s important to always acknowledge this diversity and appreciate it in every of our encounters in life. I am proud and honored to be a man. Doesn’t mean I don’t face challenges or have bad days. It is all attributed to the fact that I tend to deal with life as it comes on my own terms accepting the things that are beyond my control, taking responsibility for those under my control and appreciating the guidance and support I’ve received in being the person I am. It’s a privilege that I do not take for granted.


Be a Man. This is one statement that have been thrown at men all over from childhood in different contexts. When one cried as a boy they’d be taunted for crying as it wasn’t considered to be manly enough. Over time I’ve been schooled and learned but I’ve never found any scientific evidence to this end especially considering it’s just but a way to express our emotions and pain. In other contexts that this has come to be mainstay is in adulthood and a man is expected to be a provider which even the bible is said to espouse. I’m not against this in any way except for the fact that in every circumstance, the context needs to come to play, expectations be managed and all plays out for all in the end. Don’t let your ambition wilt in the guise of being understood and accommodated as a man.


So I got the nudge to write about this after a hectic day which culminated with a heart to heart with a fellow man on my way back home. Being exhausted I was barely contributing but then this guy had a story to tell so it was on me to listen. Started when our bus had a detour for the conductor to get off as the driver proceeded to close business for the day. From finances to the hustles of being a man in the city, he narrated the experiences of being a man leaving your house in the morning hoping to come home with something for the family that believes in you in every way possible. It’s the greatest form of trust any man would want to betray and so you do all you can to bring something home. He attributed the tough times to be a contributor to the growth of instant loan services like Fuliza. When the sun sets and you have nothing for the family, you’ll have to seek out from any source you can and these platforms come as a handy ally at such times. Imagining coming home to a family that sees the world in you with nothing is the greatest blow to any man. This is why he believes as men we must man up and get our hustle going. It may not be for us but the hope of a better day for those we care about.


His first born daughter got an admission to the university and before they could enroll and start virtual lectures, fees had to be paid. With business down and the short timeframe to raise the money, he did all he could to the last moment where an angel sent buddy bailed him out with a soft loan. He said making that payment was the best feeling he has had in a long time, the assurance that his daughter gets to learn with others without having to lag behind. I couldn’t be more proud.


It’s a terrible time with fewer men willing or actively taking responsibility and it not only kills the present but mars hope for a better future. We need to rewrite the narrative by doing our part one man at a time and reshaping our societies. My dad did his fair share, not perfect but he never relinquished responsibility. Even in failure he was accountable and I hope to improve on that moving forward.


His final words:

“You are a young man, there are so many challenges and temptations. Hold your head high, take responsibility and never bow out till the end.” #Commitment, #Responsibility and #Resilience.

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