Cry for Help

“There are the days we need help but don’t know we do. These may be the days we take up audacious tasks and assignments just to realize in the end we weren’t as good as we thought. It’s that feedback that brings us back to reality.”

I am not used to asking for help, but when I do, I really need it. Getting to know when I need that help is not as clear cut, which means I may need it but never acknowledge that I do. However, that is one thing I am learning to do. Over the last couple of weeks I have not been at my best, which I presume you would have noticed as there wasn’t much content coming your way. It is normal to be in such a position and I am glad it is a phase that will pass.

I have thought about writing this piece in different perspectives and realized the best way to do it is by sharing an account of how it came to be. I am certain that not many of us cry for help openly; but when we do, we approach people in our immediate circles. How about when doing so is the last thing you want to do especially when they are the very people you intend to protect? I did not know I needed help and when I did, it was not the help I actually needed. Whenever I am faced with hurdles, I go to the very people I trust and look up to. The guidance they offer often results in things working out just fine. In the last week of January, I sought for help and got it. I made a great pitch (or so I thought) on why I would be a great fit for the task at hand. As a follow up, I got a call from a member of the team I had presented to, who gave me honest feedback. Based on her perspective, she knew my capabilities, but in line with the presentation I had made, I flopped terribly. I took this positively and reflected on it which brought me to the realization that the pitch was not about what they needed or how I could be of help, but what I wanted and why I needed it. I was presenting my weak points and frustrations and this did not align so well. In hindsight, I am glad she made that call because I got to know what mattered to me and actually realized that I needed help but was not seeking it from the right places.

This is the thing; once in a while, we feel we have to be in this frantic race to get what we need at the end of the day and forget to pause and think. In the process, we hop from place to place with the hope that we shall get what we need. When we get it, we realize it was not what we needed, and when we don’t, we feel miserable. I needed help and was hoping for a difference but rather than identifying the kind of help I needed, I projected it, looking forward to what the prospective partners were to fulfill for me. It might or might not work out but in the end I learnt from it.

In hindsight, when in a position to interact with another person from a vantage point, consider the probable circumstances around them and after the meeting remember to give honest feedback. It might not be what they hoped for but it gives them a chance to review the circumstances and establish ground for why it happened in such a manner. If they are people you know, they may not perform as you expect and that is even more reason to be forthcoming with your feedback for it might be a cry for help guised in self aggrandizement. Be aware and conscious, you might help rewrite someone’s story.

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