Judge, Jury and Executioner

“Life comes with its fair share of experiences but if for each of the experiences and encounters we put the burden on ourselves, it may just at one point be too heavy to bear.”

In the recent past I have worked on this habit of trying to view things that happen around as they do and not as I perceive of them. This is following the realization that for most of the circumstances around me, I was used to taking responsibility for more than I deserved. At times people go through challenging moments and you can’t do anything about it. That’s just how life is. Other times things don’t work out for you and it’s not a sign that you are a failure but the experience of life unfolding in its own way.

This morning I had an experience at a company I went to where the security guard seemed to be having a tough time which he decided to project on me or he just didn’t like me. Either way I had business to attend to in the company which meant I had to find my way through him. It’s not the best of experiences having to apologize for making someone tough on you by doing literally nothing other than make an inquiry. As per my ongoing routine, I had affirmed that this was going to be a good day yet the first business of the day was going south for no apparent reason. These are the moments where one invokes their charm to win one over. I did my best to apologize even for other previous visitors who had wronged him that made him dislike helping me with my issue yet this was the first time we met but I already had a sworn enemy. It’s unfair but in all I got served.

Later on I reflected on the moment and thought about how the young me would have handled the situation. It was amazing to know it would have been a heated argument instead of an apology for not doing anything. I would have probably judged him as a mean bastard ruining other peoples lives and feeling too important to even do his job. Well, he was mean to me but being an isolated encounter and diversity of human experiences I wasn’t in a position to judge him or even justify why he was feeling the way he did to me. All I knew was that maybe I had a chance to make a difference in his perception and at best forge a friendship. The first one I hope I did, the later I will give it a try onwards.

As human beings we have a sense of entitlement that doesn’t have a basis but we still manifest it. I got to think of the movie, Black Panther, and instead of focusing on “Chadwick Boseman” and visualized “Michael B. Jordan” blaming his father (T’Chaka) for abandoning him and in pursuit of the throne disrupts order in Wakanda ultimately ending with his defeat. In an encounter captured between the two i.e. Michael B. Jordan (Killmonger) and Chadwick Boseman (T’Challa), T’Challa tells him that their main responsibility is to the people of Wakanda, failures of their father and other past leaders isn’t for them to judge.

In a way we are accustomed to perceiving, judging and making verdicts without any facts on others experiences but we feel entitled to know why they do what they do. This isn’t fair. Additionally, for some we beat ourselves up for things beyond our control. We are too harsh on ourselves for matters we have no control over yet feel like we should be there to address them. Not only does this deny us the chance to lead fulfilling lives but keeps us in a cycle of panic, apprehension and dislike if not hate at worst. This is such a bitter life to lead.

“We all have our story to tell. Even with a similar experience, our comprehension differs and this is the basis of humanity. We live, we experience life and move forth for we never came with a manual, had a script rehearsal and will never review the script post acting it.”

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